Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Catching up

As advertised, I do not make regular entries here. I write constantly however and will attempt to find those older jottings worth sharing. For now an assessment of this moment and my current direction.

Still very transitional. Finished grad school and had a great summer at the Skowhegan school residency in Maine. Met many amazing artists and regularly see/speak/write many of them. The SVA crowd as well. As I am unattached in nearly every sense of the word, this wide ranging social network helps me maintain my equilibrium and momentum. They are also pretty good friends.

I start building out my new studio tomorrow-veneering a wall, painting the floor, etc. By the end of November I need to find a new home as well. The job hunt is thus far without results but I have to admit to barely being motivated. I am spending my days applying for grants/residencies/shows/registries, working on finally completing my web-site and generally trying to continue being a full-time artist. I make plans for new projects and process the video and imagery from the last year's work. It can be a little monotonous (since I am always in the apartment) but it feels pretty rewarding. I feel if I can keep putting as many irons in the fire as possible, something will happen. They can't all say no.

I also write quite a bit. About the work as well as my recent experiences. Working through many emotional issues of course. The divorce as well as women I've been involved with since then. For now I choose to remain alone, something I cannot remember ever doing. I feel the focus needs to be on me for now, on doing all the things I just mentioned and spending time with good friends and meeting new friends. New York has plenty to offer of course for seeing work, going to lectures and generally sucking up experiences and ideas. Have been reading and actually enjoying more art theory lately. Am I getting smarter or just learning how to approach those writings?

I should be nervous, with the economy looking seriously compromised and me being unemployed. But I feel like something will come along, that I should perhaps more actively seek it but that it will come. As Marilyn M likes to say, the world opens up for you and makes a place for you. Plus when everyone you know is pretty broke it doesn't seem all that bad. There is so much talk now of people learning to live more frugally, but these last few years has given me plenty of practice. I live pretty cheap and intend to keep doing so.

I also intend to keep being an artist first and foremost. It will be a challenge but I feel my timing is bad that its actually really good. There are few expectations so I am free to do whatever the fuck I want. It's scary but also exhilarating.